Issue date: 3/6/03 Section: Editorial

Dear Editor,

I would like to say thank you for all the comments I have received after my last letter to the editor. Except to that guy who called me Thursday, as I don't think my head would fit where he proposed.

Since then, I have been asked to tackle other causes around campus, and there were a wide variety of suggestions. I will try to get to all of your topics, but not today.

Today there is a far more important issue on hand. Or should I say on body? Or should I say on naked body? Or more specifically should I say on old naked man's body that seems to be walking around the men's locker room all the time trying to talk to me. Yes, that is what I should say.

You see, no matter when I go into the locker room there is always a naked old dude trying to start up a conversation. And surprisingly it's not always the same guy!

My theory is that this is their job. They have a time clock, work two-hour shifts, and when one starts to get dressed another one is getting undressed. I am not a conspiracy theorist, mind you, but there is no way this is coincidental.

I often switch my workout times to try and avoid the naked old dudes. But it doesn't help; they know we will be there during regular gym hours. So they come in, get naked, and start to talk.

Maybe it would be more acceptable if they said, "Lets talk about me giving you a bunch of money." But do they do that? No. They want to talk about the weather.

Guess what, old dude? Your leg is up on my bench. I already know how you "feel" about the weather. It's cold. I get it.

I have actually been followed to the stall by one of these guys.

I thought, "Hey, if I go in, there is no way he will keep talking. Wrong again my friends. After a minute or two he suggested more fiber in my diet. And that was not something I wanted to hear from a guy who looks like he just got out of the dishwater.

The way I figure it, long ago some dude had his towel stolen. So he sought out others who had their towels stolen and formed a group called "Men who had their towels stolen and decided to walk around naked until somebody gives it back."

Little did they know it would take over 50 years to get the message across.

So if you stole their towels, please give them back, because if I were truly meant to get the weather report from a naked old man, surely, I would have been born blind.

Thank you,

Brian L Hausman
Senior
Speech Communications

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