Ask Courtney
advice column
Issue date: 11/1/01 Section: Lifestyles
Send questions to alestle_lifestyles@hotmail.com.
Q: My roommate is practically married to her boyfriend from back home, but whenever we go out here, she always ends up drinking too much and she messes around with other guys. I don't even think she feels bad about it. I don't know what to say to her without being judgmental and I don't want things to be weird between us. What should I do?
A: Obviously it's already becoming weird between the two of you. You can't control her or her actions, but you can control your own. Tell her you don't agree with what she is doing and that you no longer want to be part of it. If her actions continue, stop hanging out with her.
Q: I'm dating this guy and I like him, maybe even love him, but I have not told him yet. He has told me he loves me many times on the phone but never face to face. I want to wait until I see his eyes when he tells me he loves me before I tell him I love him. My question is should I wait until then? Second question – the guy mentioned above is kind of too good to be true. I mean he has his flaws. Some of the things he does remind me of my ex. And because of that I get nervous about being with him. I really, really like him but I am afraid of being disappointed. What should I do?
A: Whoa, that's a lot. First things first, you either love him or you don't. When you're in love you will know it. It sounds like you're having doubts, or you're just not ready to face it yet. Don't tell him you love him unless you truly feel it. Maybe you will want to say it once you're face to face. Second, if he reminds you of your ex-boyfriend, then you need to remember why he's your ex.
Q: My roommate is always using my stuff because she thinks I don't notice. I don't think she realizes that it bothers me even though I make comments about it. I just wish she would be considerate and respect my stuff. I just get so irritated. How can I get her to stop?
A: She's not getting the hint, so just come out and tell her to stop using your stuff. That's all you can do. After that, start putting your stuff away or buying locks. If you can't live that way, it looks like it's time to find a new roommate.
'Ask Courtney' is a new feature in the Lifestyles section. The Alestle reserves the right to edit questions for grammar and content. Bring questions to the Alestle office located on the second floor of the Morris University Center or e-mail them to alestle_lifestyles@hotmail.com.
Q: My roommate is practically married to her boyfriend from back home, but whenever we go out here, she always ends up drinking too much and she messes around with other guys. I don't even think she feels bad about it. I don't know what to say to her without being judgmental and I don't want things to be weird between us. What should I do?
A: Obviously it's already becoming weird between the two of you. You can't control her or her actions, but you can control your own. Tell her you don't agree with what she is doing and that you no longer want to be part of it. If her actions continue, stop hanging out with her.
Q: I'm dating this guy and I like him, maybe even love him, but I have not told him yet. He has told me he loves me many times on the phone but never face to face. I want to wait until I see his eyes when he tells me he loves me before I tell him I love him. My question is should I wait until then? Second question – the guy mentioned above is kind of too good to be true. I mean he has his flaws. Some of the things he does remind me of my ex. And because of that I get nervous about being with him. I really, really like him but I am afraid of being disappointed. What should I do?
A: Whoa, that's a lot. First things first, you either love him or you don't. When you're in love you will know it. It sounds like you're having doubts, or you're just not ready to face it yet. Don't tell him you love him unless you truly feel it. Maybe you will want to say it once you're face to face. Second, if he reminds you of your ex-boyfriend, then you need to remember why he's your ex.
Q: My roommate is always using my stuff because she thinks I don't notice. I don't think she realizes that it bothers me even though I make comments about it. I just wish she would be considerate and respect my stuff. I just get so irritated. How can I get her to stop?
A: She's not getting the hint, so just come out and tell her to stop using your stuff. That's all you can do. After that, start putting your stuff away or buying locks. If you can't live that way, it looks like it's time to find a new roommate.
'Ask Courtney' is a new feature in the Lifestyles section. The Alestle reserves the right to edit questions for grammar and content. Bring questions to the Alestle office located on the second floor of the Morris University Center or e-mail them to alestle_lifestyles@hotmail.com.
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